I still don't know why this works.

"If you want to make a friend, let someone do you a favor." -Benjamin Franklin



Seriously, I still have no idea why this works. But it does.

We might gain a deeper understanding of Ben Franklin's intuition if we consider the case of an emotional experience that the Japanese call "Amae".

Amae is believed to be evoked in situations in which someone asks for a favor--or makes an inappropriate request--to someone who they know will indulge. For example, when a small child interrupts her busy mother to ask to be read a storybook, the mother will stop what she is doing and comply. And she'll be happy to do so!

Researchers have successfully demonstrated that they can induce this unique emotional state in Americans, even if we don't label it Amae. And individuals in Amae-like situations report feeling more positive emotions.

So was Ben Franklin talking about Amae? Was Mr. Franklin aware that asking for favors can make other people feel good?

I believe he was.

And, the take home message here is to go out and ask others for help. You'll be more productive, make people happier, and might even make some new friends.

Thanks, Ben Franklin.