I still don't know why this works.

"If you want to make a friend, let someone do you a favor." -Benjamin Franklin



Seriously, I still have no idea why this works. But it does.

We might gain a deeper understanding of Ben Franklin's intuition if we consider the case of an emotional experience that the Japanese call "Amae".

Amae is believed to be evoked in situations in which someone asks for a favor--or makes an inappropriate request--to someone who they know will indulge. For example, when a small child interrupts her busy mother to ask to be read a storybook, the mother will stop what she is doing and comply. And she'll be happy to do so!

Researchers have successfully demonstrated that they can induce this unique emotional state in Americans, even if we don't label it Amae. And individuals in Amae-like situations report feeling more positive emotions.

So was Ben Franklin talking about Amae? Was Mr. Franklin aware that asking for favors can make other people feel good?

I believe he was.

And, the take home message here is to go out and ask others for help. You'll be more productive, make people happier, and might even make some new friends.

Thanks, Ben Franklin.

Life optimization weekly tip # 1

To begin your adventure in life optimization, try one of my weekly tips.

------------------------
Life Optimization Tip #1:

Strengthen your relationships, even with those whom you feel no connection.

------------------------

Call up an old friend, loved one, or send an email (or even a facebook message--you know you have lots of friends you don't really talk to) to someone whom you've fallen out of touch.

If the conversation goes well, invite them to a social event, or coffee; to catch up.

Remember to be nice during that encounter.

And then consider this: Scientists have found that happiness in social networks appears to be contagious, and each additional happy friend in your network improves your chance of being happy by 9%.

So, if during your planned encounter with your long lost friend you happen to make them feel a little happier, you may have inadvertently increased the happiness of all of their friends by about 9%.

Sound optimal?

An introduction to Yes, But Still...

I realized that I have neglected to give Yes, But Still a proper introduction.

First, I must tell you a short bit about my personal philosophy, and how that has influenced the emergence of this site.

All my life, I have sought perfection in nearly everything I do. And on the average, this mindset has allowed for success to follow close by in abundance.

But perfection and happiness, for me, do not always go hand in hand. And that is the goal here.

The ideal combination of these two forces, I now call, life optimization.

What follows is how I apply this philosophy of life to my pursuit of knowledge. And whatever hilarity arrives along the way. And frequent communications of what not to do.

"GTD" validated scientifically?

Okay, so now I got your attention.

There is a fascinating article in the December edition of "Psychological Science" that may relate to something all you productivity folks have realized.

The authors of the article report that thinking about a task in concrete terms will reduce procrastination. Another way of thinking about this, is that if you mentally break a goal down into its constuent steps, you are more likely to follow through to completion on meeting that particular goal.

Researchers tested this idea in a variety of ways, one of which was emailing a questionnaire to individuals and giving them three weeks to email back a response. Half the participants received a questionnaire that led them to think abstractly about completing this task (i.e. returning the questionnaire) and the other half were led to think concretely while completing the questionnaire.

These folks found that a significantly greater number of people in the latter group completed the task sooner.

So what is our take home message?

Many of us have intuited that by breaking a task down into its "next-actions" we will be more likely to complete it. Only now, do we know scientifically that this may indeed be the case. Perhaps our productivity methods are leadings us to reconstrue our goals in such a way that reduces our procrastination.

Whatever is happening, psychological science can always test it empirically, and let us know.

================
Recommended reading:

Construal level and procrastination

Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity

Why you should learn a productivity system -- Lifehack.org

Develop your character

"What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

What did old Ralph mean by this?

I think he was talking about one's character.

I believe that character is the collection of behavioral traits that one seeks to attain--what one actively tries to develop within oneself, even when no one is watching.

So how do I think you can work on your character?

Focus on your current values, beliefs, and actions. Think about them for a while...

Hey, it's a start....

=============

Recommended reading:

Achieving goals by improving your character/

I wonder if he used a typewriter

“To change one’s life, start immediately, do it flamboyantly.” - William James

It's been reported that a complete bibliography of the writings of William James would fill 47 pages! Of all this work, we only regularly hear about a few important pieces of writing.

So what's the point?

Write a whole lot, and something is bound to stick out as significant.

And if you have any time left, of course, feel free to go ahead and flamboyantly change your life.

Ask yourself: What would Carl Rogers do?

Ever since I learned about Carl Rogers in an undergraduate psychology course, I have been a fan of his message and philosophy.

( Feel free to get yourself a quick summary of his contributions here )

And now I might suggest that many awkward situations may be avoided by simply asking yourself: "What would Carl Rogers do?"

One idea in his work is to seek to understand others; to assist them in presenting their most authentic self to you. Achieving this goal alone will facilitate smoother relations.

So the next time you find yourself in an interpersonal dilemma, ask yourself, "What would Carl Rogers do?"

Think about it for a while, and I'll expand on this topic next time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recommended reading:

A Way of Being

On Becoming a Person

Delegation: Doing less, but more.

To reach the very top (---and by all means, I'm not even close yet, so take this for what it's worth---), you'll probably have to produce more than anyone else.

Thus, you'll call upon your powers of delegation.

Many, when asked to delegate, respond with the following:

"But if I delegate a task out to someone else, they might screw it up. I could get this all done faster if I just did everything myself."

I promise you, you are wrong. And here is why.

Consider the following scenario: your workload is a series of tasks, and lets call them tasks X, Y, and Z. Let's further add that each task takes eight hours to complete. Adding to the mix, you have an assistant, who can capably do any one of these tasks. To be pessimistic, let's presume that your assistant will screw up the assigned task 5 percent of the time. Now, I have faith in the powers of others, you may not. Adjust accordingly. Either way, you can finish X & Y, while your assistant finishes Z, in 16 hours, giving you an entire day to work on something else yourself.

But, what happens, you ask, if my assistant screws up, and I then I have to fix it myself?

Hey, it happens.

Yet even correcting the botched work of others can be quicker than undergoing the project alone. And if it takes you half the time to fix a mistake someone else has made, you've still saved yourself 4 hours of work...

What does this mean?

Go delegate as much of your work as you can. And feel free to write the next blog post for me.

=====================

Supplemental reading: The 8 best ways to mentor someone

Personal productivity tips (part 1 of many)

How to write a lot:

Step 1. Schedule a block of time everyday where you will do nothing but write.

Step 2. Defend that time slot with your life: I don't care what excuse you have to make, you are busy.

Step 3. Write during that time.

I can only imagine how much practice this took...

No thanks, CBS: That's not what I want for Christmas...

Automatic toilet seat cover

Interesting.

Goodbye, 2008. Welcome, 2009.

Good ole 2008 was a compelling year. Happily, I noticed myself becoming rather focused on tweaking my productivity systems/structures and advancing toward some serious goals.

A few successes from last year worth mentioning:

[x] max out Roth IRA
-> I started this after reading about the power of compound interest over at Get Rich Slowly

[x] develop healthier eating habits
-> I temporarily experimented with a "raw food" diet on a whim. After I got hungry, I realized that it wasn't for me. You should try it though--it might work for you. Lots of folks report that it is energizing.

[x] maintain a healthy fitness plan
-> Exercise is super. I recommend exercise videos if you lack the motivation for a gym routine.

Looking ahead at 2009, here's a few things I plan to do:

1. start a blog (welcome!)

2. write scholarly articles on a more regular basis

3. take a competitive kickboxing class

4. learn to DJ

5. contribute to science


Let the adventures begin.